Water & Flowers
by SweetHarmonee
Summary: One of the most powerful and emotional scenes from the world of Final Fantasy VII. This is just my rambling and re-imagining of Aeris' tragic death, told from her point of view. Later Cloud struggles with his grief over her death.
1. Smile

When I gaze up at him, I can't help but give him one last smile.

He looks down upon me, tears beginning to form in his eyes. Pain is etched in every muscle in his face "... Aeris."

I begin plummeting toward the alter, and Cloud leaps forward to try to hold me. I'm overwhelmed with comfort, I can't even wipe away the tears that spill from the corners of my eyes. His face becomes a blur before me, but I can still see him moving closer, and in a moment he embraces me just as I had always wanted. The warmth of one of his hands upon my neck, the other tenderly cradling my face, it brings me solace. _I'll be alright. I'm going home. They know I'm coming. They're ready. I'm ready._

"This can't be real!" He cries out, his hands trembling as he lays his face onto mine and sobs.

 _Cold. I'm co- cold. I'm sorry, Cloud. I- I- I- I'm dying. Hold me. Just hold me._

He begins rocking back and forth as his sobbing intensifies. Lifting his head up to look at me, the last time our eyes will ever meet.

Then, he wraps me even more tightly in his arms as he continues to weep against me.

"Do not worry. Soon the girl will become part of the Planet's energy. All that is left is to go North. The 'Promised Land' waits for me over snowy fields. There, I will become a new being by uniting with the planet. As will this girl..."

"...Shut up. The cycle of nature and your stupid plan don't mean a thing. Aeris is gone. Aeris will no longer talk, no longer laugh, cry... or get angry... What about us... what are WE supposed to do? What about my pain? My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!"

 _You'll be all right. You'll be all right. You'll be all right. You're okay. You've got to go, Cloud. You've got so much to give. Promise me._

Ever since our story first began, I'd dreamt that one day Cloud would _tell_ me he cared for me; and yet I'd never quite believe it would really happen. I certainly hadn't imagined that he would _show_ me that I was special to him. Being remembered this way, _we_ can face anything. Can't you see, Cloud? I'll always be with you. _I love you, Cloud Strife._


	2. The Lifestream

_... Where am I?_

Cloud is floating through a void... of nothingness. There is nothing but darkness. He tries to move around, frightened and confused.

Suddenly, a bright viridescent light appears in the darkness and engulfs his entire body. He closes his eyes to reminisce about his childhood. The green glow reminding him of the summer breeze in fields outside of Nibelheim, the feeling of walking barefoot on fresh cut grass. Green fills his senses. When he opens his eyes, he stares out at the figure in front of him, his mouth gaped open in absolute shock.

 _... It's her._

She looks out at him with that delightful, lily-white smile. Her emerald green orbs inviting Cloud to follow her. And he tries, he but can never quite make it there. The illumination begins to fade away back into the darkness and with it, she begins to drift away even further out of his grasp.

 _... No, don't leave!_

Green was the color of her eyes, the leafs of a flower, the life-force of the planet.

No. It wasn't the color of nature or beauty; it was the shade of destruction. Green was Mako, ShinRa, greed, gil, envy.

Cloud wakes up, shaking violently.


	3. Repression

When Aeris' life was taken by Sephiroth, Cloud's heart was completely shattered. After saving the Planet from Meteor, he didn't know what to do. Then Geostigma plagued the world; life was a battle against never-ending suffering. Eventually, he came to an apex where he became numb to any emotion. He continued life with his days detached from others and his nights filled with nothing but silence. Cloud was dead inside, but alive. He had once again become a shadow of his former self; someone whose very existence held no purpose.

Yet, the tormenting nightmares and heartfelt hallucinations were beginning to bring everything back. All the sealed up emotions that he had thought disappeared, all the tears he had yet to cry - everything. He had finally realized it... that no matter how much he dwelled on what he could and should have done, no matter how much he wished he had saved her, no matter what he did, she was never coming back again.


	4. The Note

_... she's never coming back. It's up to me to meet her again._

Cloud smiles, and he knows what he must do now.

 _... I'm sorry that I've kept you waiting. You don't have to wait anymore. I'm coming._

* * *

 _Dear Tifa, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't..._

"No." Cloud mutters under his breath and crosses the line.

 _To my friends, please don't think..._

"No." He whispers, crossing out another line and tearing out the page from his notebook.

 _Honestly, I don't even know where to start. None of this is anyone's fault but my own. Tifa, please don't feel guilty. No-one else should suffer because of me._

He blinks a few times, debating about crossing those lines out and starting over. "I guess," he murmurs, "It's honest."

 _Just, please don't remember me... Forget about me._ He lifts his pen up, his mind wandering back to the Gondola ride at Gold Saucer. His lips curl at the memory - it's the first genuine smile in what seems like years. Shaking is head, he allows his eyes to travel to the Buster Sword beside him, bringing him back to reality and reminding himself why he's writing this letter. _It's better for everyone this way._

He finishes the sentence and stares down blankly at the scribbled, mostly crossed out paper in front of him. He closes his eyes, debating whether or not to keep writing. _I don't know who I'm writing this to anymore. I don't know. I've never known._

* * *

"I don't want to hurt you or anybody so please forget about me. Just try. Find yourself a better friend."

― Nina LaCour, Hold Still


End file.
